The American Way:
The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long,
building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper
thinks he's a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come
winter, the ant is warm and well fed. The grasshopper has no food or
shelter so he dies out in the cold.
MORAL OF THE STORY: Be responsible for yourself!
OBAMA VERSION:
The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long,
building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper
thinks he's a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come
winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know
why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others are cold and
starving. CBS, NBC, and ABC show up to provide pictures of the shivering
grasshopper next to a video of the ant in his comfortable home with a table
filled with food.
America is stunned by the sharp contrast. How can
this be, that in a country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to
suffer so?
Kermit the Frog appears on Oprah with the grasshopper and
everybody cries when they sing "It's Not Easy Being Green." Jesse
Jackson stages a demonstration in front of the ant's house where the news
stations film the group singing "We shall overcome". Jesse then
has the group kneel down to pray to God for the grasshopper's sake. Harry
Reid & Nancy Pelosi exclaim in an interview with Brian Williams that the
ant has gotten rich off the back of the grasshopper, and both call for an
immediate tax hike on the ant to make him pay his "fair share".
Finally, the EEOC drafts the "Economic Equity and
Anti-Grasshopper Act", retroactive to the beginning of the summer.
The ant is fined for failing to hire a proportionate number of green bugs and,
having nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by
the government.
Hillary gets her old law firm to represent the
grasshopper in a defamation suit against the ant, and the case is tried before
a panel of federal judges that Obama appointed from a list of single-parent
welfare recipients. The ant loses the case. The story ends as we
see the grasshopper finishing up the last bits of the ant's food while the
government house he is in, which just happens to be the ant's old house,
crumbles around him because he doesn't maintain it.
The ant has disappeared in the snow. The
grasshopper is found dead in a drug related incident and the house, now
abandoned, is taken over by a gang of spiders who terrorize the once peaceful
neighborhood.
MORAL OF THE STORY: Vote Republican